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Joke: Late-Night Jokes About Global Warming


[Cat.: Science ] [Clasif.:a] [ Calif.: 2.8]

"According to a survey in this week’s Time magazine, 85% of Americans think global warming is happening. The other 15% work for the White House." –Jay Leno

"Al Gore has a hit movie called ‘An Inconvenient Truth.’ I have an inconvenient truth for him: you’re still not the president. … This past weekend, Al Gore’s movie, ‘An Inconvenient Truth,’ earned more per screen than any film in the country. … I dare say Gore’s movie is the highest grossing PowerPoint presentation in history. … Global warming: Can we live with it? … It is time we did something, namely resign ourselves to doing nothing [on screen: Follow Congress' Lead]. … For instance, when sea levels rise, we’ll just build levees [on screen: Worked for New Orleans]" –Stephen Colbert

"Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice." –David Letterman

"Former Vice President Al Gore starring in a new documentary about global warming. I believe it’s called [Leno snores]. … The film actually features Al Gore and explores his journey on how he first got interested in temperature change. It started back when he was vice president. He noticed how the temperature would change, like whenever Bill would walk into the room, it would get warm and whenever Hillary walked into the room, it got cold." –Jay Leno

"President Bush said global warming is happening much quicker than he thought, and then his staff pulled him aside and said ‘It’s just springtime.’" –Jay Leno

"Arnold Schwarzenegger is blaming man for global warming. And today, Al Gore agreed with him. That’s so typical. Two cyborgs, ‘Oh, let’s blame the humans.’" –Jay Leno

"Al Gore is coming out with a movie about global warming called ‘An Inconvenient Truth.’ It’s described as a detailed scientific view of global warming. President Bush said he just saw a film about global warming, ‘Ice Age 2; The Meltdown.’ He said, ‘It’s so much better than that boring Al Gore movie.’" –Jay Leno

"Don’t kid yourself. Global warming is no joke. Here’s how serious global warming has gotten to be in the United States. In this country global warming is so bad, we are now actually starting to warm up to Barry Bonds." –David Letterman

"According to Time magazine, global warming is 33% worse than we thought. You know what that means? Al Gore is one-third more annoying than we thought." –Jay Leno

- Contribution of: Melissa - us



(2.8 stars, 15 votes)
 

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