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Clean Jokes - Short Jokes for Kids / Children

What's the difference between Al Gore and a slab of formica?
Absolutely nothing. (Melissa)
(2.9 stars, 10 votes)

"President Obama still has not gotten used to the White House, apparently. This is true. Today, on his way into the Oval Office, he tried to mistakenly open a window that he thought was a door. That's true. Yeah. White House employees said at first it made them laugh, then a wave of nostalgia washed over them." --Conan O'Brien (Melissa)
(2.9 stars, 10 votes)

I am in total control, but don't tell my wife.
(2.9 stars, 10 votes)

I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha.
(2.9 stars, 10 votes)

Always try to be modest and be proud of it!
(2.9 stars, 10 votes)

Making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg. It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.
(2.9 stars, 10 votes)

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
(2.8 stars, 10 votes)

Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
(2.8 stars, 10 votes)

Almost everything in life is easier to get into than to get out of.
(2.8 stars, 10 votes)

The days just before marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book.
(2.8 stars, 10 votes)

Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy and wealthy and dead.
(2.8 stars, 10 votes)

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
(2.8 stars, 10 votes)

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
(2.8 stars, 10 votes)

I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
(2.8 stars, 10 votes)

All good things must come to an end, I just want to know when they start!
(2.7 stars, 10 votes)

A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.
(2.7 stars, 10 votes)

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield)
(2.7 stars, 10 votes)

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
(2.7 stars, 10 votes)

Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore. It's too crowded.
(2.7 stars, 10 votes)

95% of the Fords made in the last year are still on the road, 5% made it home.
(2.7 stars, 10 votes)

You so short you have to look up to look down. (Crystal)
(2.6 stars, 10 votes)

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut or a salesman if his is a good price.
(2.6 stars, 10 votes)

On the other hand, you have different fingers.
(2.6 stars, 10 votes)

When you don't know where you're going... Every road will take you there.
(2.6 stars, 10 votes)

Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
Take your foot off his head.
(2.5 stars, 10 votes)

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