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Short Doctors / Medical / Hospital Jokes - The Funniest Short Jokes and One Liners


The colder the x-ray table the more of your body is required on it.
(2.9 stars, 29 votes)
 

How are divorce and enemas alike?
At first they are both pretty shitty but in the long run they feel pretty good! (randy)
(3.1 stars, 30 votes)
 

2 psychiatrists were walking down a hall. One turned to the other & said, Hello. The other one thought, I wonder what he meant by that
(3.0 stars, 31 votes)
 

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
(3.4 stars, 32 votes)
 

Don't make your doctor your heir.
(3.0 stars, 32 votes)
 

Just because a doctor has a name for your condition doesn't mean he knows what it is.
(3.4 stars, 33 votes)
 

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? (George Carlin)
(3.8 stars, 36 votes)
 

A doctor is the only man who can tell a woman to take off all her clothes and then send a bill to her husband!
(3.8 stars, 38 votes)
 

Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm the school bell.
Take These tablets and if they don't work give me a ring in the morning.
(3.5 stars, 39 votes)
 

What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
(3.6 stars, 48 votes)
 

Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem? (Scott)
(4.0 stars, 53 votes)
 

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