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Funny Questions - The Funniest Short Jokes and One Liners

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry? (George Carlin)
(3.3 stars, 11 votes)

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
(3.2 stars, 11 votes)

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
(3.0 stars, 11 votes)

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
(3.0 stars, 11 votes)

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
(2.9 stars, 11 votes)

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?
(2.9 stars, 11 votes)

If bankers can count, how come they have eight windows and only four tellers?
(2.8 stars, 11 votes)

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
(2.6 stars, 11 votes)

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? (George Carlin)
(4.8 stars, 12 votes)

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
(4.8 stars, 12 votes)

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? (George Carlin)
(4.7 stars, 12 votes)

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? (George Carlin)
(4.6 stars, 12 votes)

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? (George Carlin)
(4.6 stars, 12 votes)

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? (George Carlin)
(4.5 stars, 12 votes)

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? (George Carlin)
(4.3 stars, 12 votes)

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
(4.3 stars, 12 votes)

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? (George Carlin)
(4.3 stars, 12 votes)

Is there another word for synonym? (George Carlin)
(4.3 stars, 12 votes)

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
(4.3 stars, 12 votes)

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? (George Carlin)
(4.2 stars, 12 votes)

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
(4.2 stars, 12 votes)

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
(4.2 stars, 12 votes)

If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
(4.2 stars, 12 votes)

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? (George Carlin)
(4.1 stars, 12 votes)

Why is abbreviation such a long word?
(4.1 stars, 12 votes)

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