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Short Lawyer Jokes - The Funniest Short Jokes and One Liners


What is the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One is a scum sucking bottom dweller and the other is a fish! (Bob)
(3.5 stars, 8 votes)
 

If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Attila the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer twice.
(4.0 stars, 9 votes)
 

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
(2.8 stars, 10 votes)
 

Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
Take your foot off his head.
(2.5 stars, 10 votes)
 

What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.
(4.5 stars, 11 votes)
 

What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
(3.9 stars, 11 votes)
 

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
(3.5 stars, 11 votes)
 

Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
No? Good!
(2.9 stars, 11 votes)
 

Always hire a rich attorney.
(2.6 stars, 11 votes)
 

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
(3.6 stars, 12 votes)
 

Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
(3.9 stars, 13 votes)
 

What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
(3.9 stars, 13 votes)
 

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