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Short Money / Finance / Investment Jokes - The Funniest Short Jokes and One Liners

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
(3.2 stars, 10 votes)

It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.
(2.5 stars, 10 votes)

The one thing that money can not buy is poverty.
(3.6 stars, 11 votes)

Easiest way to figure the cost of living: take your income and add ten percent.
(3.4 stars, 11 votes)

When a habit begins to cost money it is called a hobby.
(3.4 stars, 11 votes)

Money is the root of all evil, and a man needs roots.
(3.1 stars, 11 votes)

Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.
(4.3 stars, 12 votes)

Remember the golden rule: Those that have the gold make the rules.
(4.1 stars, 12 votes)

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.
(3.9 stars, 12 votes)

Needs are a function of what other people have.
(3.8 stars, 12 votes)

Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.
(3.8 stars, 12 votes)

All I want is a chance to prove that money means nothing to me!
(3.7 stars, 12 votes)

The market may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried...
(3.3 stars, 12 votes)

Don't lend people money... it gives them amnesia.
(4.5 stars, 13 votes)

Cocaine is nature's way of telling you you have too much money.

(4.2 stars, 13 votes)

Creditors have better memories than debtors.
(4.2 stars, 13 votes)

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
(4.5 stars, 14 votes)

I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.
(4.4 stars, 14 votes)

In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
(4.0 stars, 14 votes)

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