Short Gender / Sexist Jokes - The Funniest Short Jokes and One Liners
Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried.
What's the difference between men an government bonds?
Men are like parking spots: The good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
Men are like vacations: They never seem to last long enough.
Why do women have mid-life crises? Because Phil and Oprah say they're supposed to.
Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge (Seen On A Restaurant)
What have you done wrong if your wife walks into the living room and slaps you.
You have left the chain to long.
If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.
Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.
What do men and pantyhose have in common?
They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch!
A man's idea of honesty in a relationship is telling you his real name.
Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.
When does a woman care for a man's company?
When he owns it.
Husband: A man who buys his football tickets four months in advance and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping.
Why do doctors slap babies butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
Men are like computers: Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when it's coming, how many inches you'll get, and how long it'll stay.
What do men and women have in common?
They both distrust men.
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband.
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.
If your dog was barking at the back door and your wife was knocking on the front door, who would you let in first?
The dog, because at least he would shut up once he was in.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.