Short Gender / Sexist Jokes - The Funniest Short Jokes and One Liners
Men are like coolers: Load them with beer, and you can take them anywhere.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal?
A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.
Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried.
Men are like coffee: The best ones are rich, warm, and keep you up all night long.
What's the difference between men an government bonds?
Men are like parking spots: The good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
Why don't men have mid-life crises? They stay stuck in adolescence.
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
Men are like vacations: They never seem to last long enough.
Men are like plungers: They spend most of their time in the hardware store or the bathroom.
What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts?
Guilt gifts are nicer.
How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
How many men does it take to open a can of beer?
None, it should be open when she brings it to him.
Why do women have mid-life crises? Because Phil and Oprah say they're supposed to.
What did God say after creating Eve?
Practice makes perfect.
Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge (Seen On A Restaurant)
Why are men like commercials?
You can't believe a word they say.
What have you done wrong if your wife walks into the living room and slaps you.
You have left the chain to long.
If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings.
Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.
What do men and pantyhose have in common?
They either cling, run or don't fit right in the crotch!
Men are like diapers: always full of shit.
A man's idea of honesty in a relationship is telling you his real name.
Why are guys like lava lamps?
They're fun to watch, but not very bright!