Short Police / Cops Jokes - The Funniest Short Jokes and One Liners
"Ill have to report you, sir," said the traffic cop to the speeding driver. "You were doing 85 miles an hour."
"Nonsense, officer," declared the driver. "Ive only been in the car for ten minutes."
A tourist asks a man in uniform, Are you a policeman?
No, I am an undercover detective.
So why are you in uniform?
Today is my day off.
A cop stopped a drunk at about dawn.
The cop asked, "Can you explain why you're out at this hour?"
"If I could," the drunk said, "I'd be home by now!"
A cop pulls a guy over:
Sir, why were you speeeding?
Officer, I wanted to get home quickly, before I became really drunk.
"When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least."
"Youre wrong, officer, its only my hat that makes me look that old."
A man in a hurry taking his eight-year-old son to school made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.
"Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.
"It's okay, Dad," the boy said, "The police car right behind us did the same thing."
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."
The policeman replied "I dont care who you know! Youre getting a ticket!"
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