Short Sex Related Jokes - The Funniest Short Jokes and One Liners
I'd rather have lobsters on my piano than crabs on my organ
Whats the best thing about dating a homeless girl?
You can drop them off eneywere. (Crazy Cris)
Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
A North American buiseness man came to Japan for a buiseness trip. His name was Jon. He arrived three days prior to the meeting to explore the town...and maybe...get a hooker.
So he wanted to get the full Asian expirience and picked one up (a hooker, that is) and had a good, fun night with her.
But one thing he couldn't understand was that almost all night she was screaming "*****" (it's an Asian word but I don't have any Asian characters lol) Now Jon had no clue what it meant but he thought that it was probably like "more" or "oh yeah" so he kept on drilling.
Later, the Japanese buiseness man (who could speek his native language AND English) invited Jon to a game of golf.
Jon was an amazing golfer and on the very first hole he got a hole in one. And since it was the only word he knew, he shouted "*****"
Then the Japanese buiseness man said "you got a hole in one, what do you mean wrong hole?". (Jamie)
I would like to find the person who invented sex and see what he's working on now.
What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
Beat it - we're closed.
Husband: "I don't know why you wear a bra, you've go nothing to put in it."
Wife: "You wear briefs, don't you?"
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that thing?" (Brad)
What's the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on.
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
Even the Ivan's one...
Even the Ivan's one...
Litle Ivan & litle Maria played first time "Doctors". Discovering she has no penis Ivan laughs at her, proud of his superiority. Offended badly, litle Maria runs crying to her Mammy and demands an explanation and cries and cries. Poor Mammy! She just cant console her. In the end she beams happilly-
"Please Honey, stop crying and I'll say You a big secret. Ivan will remain only with his own one forever, but You, Darling after growing up could've had as many penes as you want to! Even the Ivan's one... (Sedail)
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
His hand caught fire.
Why is sex like a bridge game?
You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.
Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
-Does your girlfriend scream when she's coming? -Sure she does, I can hear her from the pub...
What's the speed limit of sex?
68; at 69 you have to turn around.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Sex is the only activity where you start at the top and work your way to the bottom, while getting a raise.
What's the difference between a wife and a job. After 5 years, the job still sucks.
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
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