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Short Workplace Jokes - The Funniest Short Jokes and One Liners

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
(3.0 stars, 10 votes)

I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
(2.8 stars, 10 votes)

Never ask the barber if you need a haircut or a salesman if his is a good price.
(2.6 stars, 10 votes)

Good Communication Skills = Spends lots of time on phone
(2.5 stars, 10 votes)

One seventh of your life is spent on Mondays.
(4.1 stars, 11 votes)

Do it tomorrow. You have made enough mistakes for today.
(4.1 stars, 11 votes)

It is easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission.
(4.0 stars, 11 votes)

If Crime doesn't pay, does that mean my job is a crime?
(3.8 stars, 11 votes)

I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
(3.8 stars, 11 votes)

Those who live closest arrive latest.
(3.6 stars, 11 votes)

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
(3.6 stars, 11 votes)

Go the extra mile - It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
(3.6 stars, 11 votes)

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
(3.6 stars, 11 votes)

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
(3.6 stars, 11 votes)

Independent Worker = Nobody knows what he/she does
(3.6 stars, 11 votes)

Don't be irreplaceable; if you cannot be replaced, you cannot be promoted.
(3.5 stars, 11 votes)

I got a job in a health club, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
(3.5 stars, 11 votes)

Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat.
(3.5 stars, 11 votes)

If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on vacation.
(3.4 stars, 11 votes)

If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.
(3.3 stars, 11 votes)

Uses Logic On Difficult Jobs = Gets someone else to do it
(3.3 stars, 11 votes)

Meticulous Attention To Detail = A nit picker
(3.2 stars, 11 votes)

The paperless office will become a reality about the same time as the paperless toilet.
(3.1 stars, 11 votes)

Quick Thinking = Offers plausible excuses
(3.0 stars, 11 votes)

I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
(3.0 stars, 11 votes)

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